Silly Things Customers Have Said to Photographers: by Dominic Lee and Friends

Can you take people out and touch them up? (from Paul Cooper).
Pointing to the 20×16 in the price list for 500 Euro, customer asks “how much is it for one? I don’t need 20!”
In the middle of a family session, the Dad steps forward and hands me his own digital camera, “take one with this I’d like to email it to all our relations”.
Customer: How much is it?
Photog: The sitting fee is 65 Euro.
Customer: Would it be any cheaper if we stand? (from Richie Gavin).
I’d like a disc of high resolution proofs so I can zoom in on the faces, I promise I wont print them myself!
Customer: I’ve come to collect my wedding album from 15 years ago.
Photog: Do you mind me asking why you left it so long?
Customer: Do you have any idea what it’s like to find parking around here? (from Fran Gavin).
I presume you will throw in a set of high-resolution files so I can make my own album & give out copies to my friends; I’m a bit of a dab hand at Photoshop myself you know! (from Michael McKay).
I know you, you did my sister! (a girl who bumped into a wedding photographer in a pub).
Customer looking at the previews, “My ears are far too big” (from Andrea Siffert).
Customer looking at previews, what’s that mark on my face? Photographer stares back at the woman’s face and says retouching is free but plastic surgery is extra!
After shooting a family reunion of 13 children with their Mum & Dad, one son, a Builder, asks how much for 14 (10×8)s?
Photog: I’ll do them for 50 Euro each.
Builder: Ah come on, I don’t want them framed!
Photog: Actually they are just in card mounts.
Builder: Wow, you’re a bigger robbin bastard than I am!
Customer: Can you make me look slim? Photog:- Sorry Misses. I’m a photographer but my cousin is a panel beater down the lane! (from Brendan Grace).
Photographing a group of 18 children in the studio, among the chaos one of the fathers comes into the studio sits beside me and starts taking photographs, I say to him “no cameras please”. He retorts angrily…….”why not, they are my children”? (from Joe Gavin).
Customer collecting his passport photos “Can you also put that onto a disc”.
Photog: “Yes that will be an extra 50 Euro”.
Customer: hands over a memory stick saying “I don’t have 50 Euro so just put in on this instead”.
Photog: “Okay, that will be €49.50”.